National Adoption Awareness Month

November is National Adoption Awareness Month. And, now that most of you are aware of my story, I feel it appropriate to give my shout to Adoption Awareness this month. If you are wondering what the heck I am talking about, click HERE FOR MY STORY. (be ready to read a lot!)

As you know, for the past seven (almost eight!) years, adoption has been a HUGE part of my life.

It has amazed me to see how much the Lord really does have a plan for all of us. We all have trials and we all have pain that we must go through. Some of it is brought about by our own choices, (like me) and for others, it is just a part of the plan that Heavenly Father has in store for them. I think the thing that amazed me the most was how Heavenly Father is able to bring these two things together and turn them into something so wonderful.

This past month, I have been able to reflect a lot about adoption. It is a wonderful gift, not only for the parents who receive a baby, but also for that birth-mom who just needs a second chance.

Placing my sweet baby for adoption was the HARDEST thing that I hope to ever go through, but knowing that I was able to make another family so happy helped ease that pain a little bit.

Sometimes people don't really have a lot of good things to say about adoption. That just blows me away. How could anyone have anything bad to say about it?! Yes, every once in a while you get those odd, rare stories about something crazy that happened, but like I said, those are rare. I have never met a "crazy, psycho stalking birth-mom". And, I have met a lot. I have only met amazing, wonderful STRONG girls of all ages who ultimately just wanted what was best for her baby. When I hear someone say that placing a baby for adoption was the "easy way out", it makes me want to scream. It in NO WAY was the easy way out. There is NOTHING easy about going through 9 months of pregnancy, hours and hours of labor and delivery and only getting to spend 2 1/2 days with your baby, all to place her in the arms of someone else, and then crying for days and going through all of the emotional and physical pain of getting back to "normal."

"Normal" meaning, trying to figure out where to go and who to be from then on while knowing that a piece of you is somewhere else.

Somedays it baffles me to think that I went through all of that, and I am here, present, living my life. I am so happy where I am. I find it very appropriate for National Adoption Awareness month to be in November--the month of Thanksgiving.

I am hugely grateful for adoption and the blessing that it brings to so many lives.

I am thankful for The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints and the wonderful program that LDS Family Services is able to provide for all sides of adoption.

I am thankful to be a member of the Church where I was able to get counseling not only from an amazing counselor at LDS Family Services, but also an amazing Bishop who was able to help heal my spirit. He reminded me of my Savior, Jesus Christ, and how He suffered and died for ME. I will forever be grateful for that priceless lesson.

I am thankful for an amazing family who supported me and helped me through the most difficult time in all our lives. They never stopped showing me their love. I knew that they were heartbroken as well, but they showed their strength for me.

I am thankful for the Smith's, who took me in and helped and supported me through that time. They are my second family and I love and am ever so grateful to them for all that they did for me.

I am thankful for a birthfather who was very supportive and present during the whole thing. It was difficult on him as well. Every time I hear of a difficult birthfather who doesn't want to cooperate, I say a quiet prayer of thanks for that boy at the time who stepped it up to be a man and understood what was right for his baby as well. He will probably never understand just how much I appreciate that.

I am so thankful for my husband who loves me despite my past. He has made and continues to make my dreams come true. He is that amazing father whom I always hoped and prayed for for my children. I am also so thankful for my children. I treasure them as my own. My dreams of being a Mommy have come true and they came to us in the right way.

I am thankful for that couple who I did not know 8 years ago. I would soon find out how much they had been praying for me in the time that I needed it the most. I am grateful for the wonderful people that they are and continue to be. They are amazing parents to my sweet Alexandrea. They were able to give her all that I could not at that time our lives. She most definitely belongs to them. I love them more than they know, and will forever be grateful to them.

And finally, I am so thankful for a sweet little spirit who came to change my life forever. It was definitely something that I did not want in my life at the time, but I now believe is the only way that I would be able to be the woman I am today. I never knew that I could feel such love for her. She is a beautiful little girl today who lights up my life every time I am able to see a photo of her. She is so special to me and will be forever. When I was healing and trying to figure out exactly who I was and who I wanted to become, I kept her little face in the back of my mind. I wanted so badly for her to be proud of me someday. I am so happy to say that I think that I accomplished that task.

During this month, I hope that you will have a greater appreciation for adoption. Though it may never affect your life directly, I am almost sure that there is someone that you know that has been affected by adoption.

There are so many wonderful people out there who are taking in children who need homes, and I give a HUGE shout out to you. You are very special people.

Over the past few years, as I have been a Mommy to my own children, it has been hard to be as involved as I would like. Before, I would go to birthmother groups all the time, and be a support to them. I would do panels for prospective adoptive couples. I LOVED working with LDS Family Services directly. I had a great friend explain the "seasons of life" to me once. As much as I would LOVE to be as involved as I can, right now is my "season" to be the best Mommy I can be. Until then, I support when I can and write things like this in hopes of helping someone, somewhere.

If you would like to know more about adoption, there are so many blogs and websites dedicated to adoption.

I can give out specific address' if someone is interested.

If you ever have any questions about adoption or birthmothers, please feel free to ask.

heidi.brower@comcast.net