No Husband = No Sleep

So, Jerrod is gone this week for work. They are working in a place about 2 hours from here, so they thought it was just better for them to stay instead of drive back and forth everyday. I do agree that that is better, but it doesn't make things easier on me.

I have been trying to remember if I have ever stayed at home alone without Jerrod. Every time he has traveled for work, I have gone to my parents house to stay with them. That may sound a bit immature, but, if I don't have to be alone, why not? Last time he stayed for a few days somewhere else, I packed up and drove 8 1/2 hours to Tulsa to spend some time with his family. So, last night, I believe, was the first time that I stayed in our home without Jerrod. I am surprised at how difficult it is for me. I can sleep just fine without him when I am at our parents' homes, but there is just something strange about being in my own home without him. Maybe it is because I don't feel "protected". Maybe it is because if anything were to happen that I would be on my own. Maybe it is because I have no one else there to help with the kids when nothing that I am doing seems to be working.

I even was strong and started out sleeping by myself with out Kennedi or Kaden in the bed. (I say starting out because Kennedi somehow manages to find her way to our bed once in a while.) I just don't want her getting in the habit of going to bed with me in our bed. She won't want to go back to hers when Jerrod gets back.

All night long, I tossed and turned and just knew that deep down something wasn't right. I looked at the clock at 2:30 and thought, "Really??!! It is only 2:30??!!" It was one of those long, unpleasant nights.
So, needless to say, I already miss Jerrod. And, that was only one night!! I miss feeling his warmth next to me. I miss going to bed and feeling 100% protected.

Hopefully he will be back on Wednesday night and then he will leave again for the rest of the week. I know that I may be being a baby about all of this, but it is hard for me! I REALLY don't know how military wives do it! I couldn't do it! I know that I could if it came down to it. (I would move in with my family!) So, after one night, my heart goes out to you all who are away from your husbands for any reason.

I miss you, Baby. I love you and hope that this week goes well for you. You amaze me and I could never do what you do!

P.S. I don't want it to sound like I have not had any fun....oh because I have!! Last night I had some girls over for The Bachelorette! It was recorded, so we were up until 11:30 watching it. We had a blast. We yelled and screamed and cried and had our hearts melted by some of the men, (NOT ALL!!! (WES! LOSER) ) but it was so fun just to be able to be girls and watch it without having our husbands there to make fun of how emotionally invested we got into it. We know that it is silly, but it was just FUN. Thanks girls!

Comments

Pogue Fam said…
Hang in there sweetie! I hate when Lee is gone. I try to come up with something fun for me to do every night so that I have something fun to look forward to once the girls are in bed. Ice cream and a movie usually does the trick :) And how bout ya call me when you have free time eh? hehe.
June 30, 2009 at 1:00 PM
Katie said…
It is really hard when Luke's gone too! We were married over 5 years when he HAD to be gone and it about killed me...and I went to stay with my parents too!
Anyway, he was gone at scout's camp last week for a few days and it was hard..especially with 3 kids and having a newborn. Hopefully I won't have to do that again anytime soon!
Oh..and I LOVE THE BACHELORETTE TOO!! Stinkin' wes..don't like him at ALL!! I loved Jake and I am sad that he is gone, but glad that he came back and stood up for her! Who do you hope she falls for?
July 2, 2009 at 11:34 AM
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