Falling in Love Again

Today I fell in love again...with this perfect, tiny, baby inside of me. 

I don't even KNOW him yet, but I do know that he is ours and that I love him.  

That's right...he is a BOY!

Once again I was reminded of how much my Heavenly Father does know and love me.  

I have been having such an emotional past few weeks.  I have been completely overwhelmed by the thought of having 3 children, and more specifically being scared about having another crazy, energetic boy.  I kept thinking and asking,  How on Earth am I going to handle it?  How on Earth am I going to raise righteous children unto the Lord?  How am I not going to go crazy doing it all?

I even cried about it on Saturday, and then again on Sunday...and we still have 20 whole weeks to go!

(I blame it fully on the pregnancy hormones!)

  And, then today, as I laid there and watched the screen as my energetic, beautiful baby boy inside of me was bouncing, kicking and moving around, I was reminded of how blessed I truly am.  The Lord is letting me have one of His precious boy's for a period of time.  How lucky I am.  And, I instantly fell in love with him.  It was an overwhelming feeling.  It was exactly what I needed at that time.  

My Heavenly Father does know me.  And, he knows the desires of my heart.

I have also been very afraid of Kennedi's reaction if it was a boy.  For the first 3 months, she was DETERMINED that the baby was a girl.  She would not give up that hope.  Every time we mentioned the word "boy", she would get upset and tell us "No!  It's a girl!"  

So, for the past month I have been praying that if it was a boy that Heavenly Father would soften her heart to the idea of another brother.  I know that she would have gotten over it, but I just really needed to know that she was okay with the whole thing.  For the past few weeks, she has changed her mind.  She kept telling everyone that it was a boy.  And, last week, one of my friends asked her what we were having and she said, "I really want a baby sister, but it is a baby brother."  She has not gone back on that since she first said it.  She has known for a while that it was a boy.  She was even very excited today when she was with us for the ultrasound.  I know that that was a blessing from the Lord as well.  I am thankful for that.  

Here is where I would insert a cute prego photo of me at 20 weeks, but today is just not a "cute" day.  

We are getting ready to go camping tomorrow and have been pretty busy today.  

Hopefully on Sunday, I will get a cute photo before church!  

And here is our proof.... 

 (Sorry Buddy, you are probably not going to like this later on in life, but I had to show it!!)  

Baby Boy, we can't wait to meet you!  We already love you so much!!