Positivity

I have so many people comment on my positivity.  I keep answering them that I have no other choice, and REALLY, I don't.  But, over the past few months I have learned a lot.  And to be quite honest, negativity just down right drives me crazy now.  

 There is SO much to be thankful for.  Even in the most negative situations.  I know that sometimes it isn't easy to see that, but there is something positive in every situation.  I have really started to look for this in all areas of my life a few years ago.  Let me give a small example.  A couple of Christmas' ago, we were putting up our decorations.  I really dislike forming the tree.  For some reason, that is just my job.  When I was standing there, getting scratches from the branches, and doing the tedious work, I was complaining under my breath, and the thought just came to me...."At least you have a tree."  
I can't help but try to do that with everything now.  Except now, most of those things have to do with the situation that I am in.  Everything else seems so trivial.  

Yes, I have been so sick off and on since October, but in December, I almost lost my life, and now it is March and I am still here.

Yes, I REALLY miss my babies while I am in the hospital, but I have three beautiful, healthy babies that belong to me and I can't wait to love on them as soon as I am out.

Yes, I am really tired of dealing with all of this, but the Lord is not going to give a trial that He KNOWS that I can't handle.

Another thing that helps to keep me positive is my sense of humor.  I think that I have laughed more the past few days than I have all month!  I try to laugh and find happiness around me.  Yesterday, my nurse "blew a vain" and it hurt and my arm swelled up ridiculously.  BUT, it was funny.  Almost like something out of a movie.  Just because she has a degree, doesn't make her super-human!

I have learned to really appreciate TIME.  
Time gives you gifts...
Time to HEAL.
Time to REFLECT.
Time to APPRECIATE.
Time to LEARN.
Time to GROW.

I am so grateful for all of those things.  

I have been blessed with so many wonderful people who care about me.  I don't know what I did to deserve the love of so many people, but it is amazing how that knowledge strengthens me.  I know that there have been numerous prayers offered on my behalf from all of these people.  I have felt the strength of those prayers.  

I am grateful for our bodies.  Our Heavenly Father has given us such a wonderful gift.  I can't wait to put mine to full use again someday.  We really should try to take care of them in the best possible ways.  I am not perfect at this, but I want to be better.  (I love sweets WAY too much.)  He wants us to enjoy life fully and if we don't do everything we can to keep our bodies healthy, then we won't be able to enjoy it fullest.  I understand that sickness comes without our doing, but we need to do our part.  

There is still so much to live for.  I can't curl up in a ball and give up.  Sometimes life does suck.  But, REALLY, our attitude can make all the difference.  I know that other people have gone through WAY harder things than I have and they have come out on top.  So, I can do it too.  

Now, I understand that not everyone is in the same place in life, but I wanted to share a few of my thoughts in hopes that it might touch someone...even if it is just one person.  

Comments

Lindsey said…
Such beautiful words/thoughts Heidi, thank you so much for sharing :)
March 13, 2011 at 3:08 PM
Tyrell Berner said…
I think about you all of the time. Day and night. Your strength and your determination. You really are amazing and have gone through a lot lately... it's like your boat exploded in the middle of the ocean (with a newborn) and you've been swimming to shore for almost 6 months. (Hopefully you're almost there :)) You literally amaze me. I feel like all I can do is watch you swim... I feel like I can't possibly do anything that will actually benefit you in any way. BUT I do hope that you know that you are not the only one growing from your trial. I have learned a lot and I appreciate that you take the time to share parts of it with us.
March 13, 2011 at 7:14 PM
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